And for the first time in history, the catwalk saw....a smile?!!

On this drizzly day we are transported to a room so shiny and bright, it seems half the audience have to wear sunglasses. And for once the dazzling star of the runway was not the host of lithely limbed models, the swathes of frothy fabrics or the sharp-sheared designers, but the tiniest fashionista of them all, Miss Harper Beckham. Continuing on my strange theme of having to write about Queen Victoria and her brood in my opening paragraph ("2 become 1" literally changed my life....), I will report on the only person ever to smile at a fashion week, who also happens to be the youngest of the Beckham clan. Wearing what I am sure is by no means her most expensive dress, Harper wowed in the front row in a pleated Chloe ensemble, bringing a smile to even Anna Wintour's face - the only other time that happened was when she found out Meryl Streep had actually caused girls to want to pick up her coffee...."I have Patrick!!"

So with a smile, the show must go on.

Bold and bright prints - We have been without sunshine for one day and everyone is already discussing where they will be spending Christmas - I mean it must be the dead of winter now right? So to cheer us all up the lovely fashions of SS14 will see our wardrobes filled with eye-watering bright and clashing prints. Whether you want matchy-matchy outfits, same print but opposing coloured separates or just one block print piece, make sure it is loud ... and that its screaming, "This is KATE SPADE don't you know!"


Denim - Its wearable, its durable, its the builders outfit of choice. Nuff said. Take a leaf out of DKNY's book and wear baggy dungarees with feminine heels, a waist skimming blazer and a plain baseball cap. Rihanna meets Rachel McAdams - real talk.



Volume, volume, VOLUME!! After posting about square shoulders the other day, NYFW has continued to build on this larger than life silhouette (pun completely intended) and is making the female form domineering and edgier. Like Threeasfour, remember to balance out big shoulders with a slim-waist and shaped hips to stop you from looking like Lady Gaga...



Floor sweeping skirts - Skirt lengths have moved from midi back to floor length and we are all secretly rejoicing. Obsessing over the dresses at Carolina Herrera which take a strong, structured bodice and pair them with a flowing sheer skirt. Modern day princess!



Pleats and gathered fabrics - As adding volume is the top of the fashion list for SS14, take something less terrifying than spikey shoulders and add texture and pomp by the manipulation of fabric. You may not want to look like a fancy lampshade, a la Zac Posen, but the idea of layers of sheer fabrics is actually a lot more flattering that you think. Choose the right shade and the right pleat and you can hide a whole manner of sins.



My final thought for the day...or should I say final fashion? Dior SS13. In the immortal words of Rachel Zoe. I. Die.

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NYFW sees pastels, sportswear and...penguin?

It's Sunday, you are feeling a little worse for wear after last night and you just found your housemates false eyelash stuck to the bottom of the glass you are drinking from. Life is looking a little less razzle dazzle and a little more, 'isn't it misleading that Monday rhymes with fun-day'. So with the final few hours of your weekend slipping away, I bring you a few more trends that have graced the New York Fashion Week catwalks over the last couple of days. And just remember, Vicky Beckham hasn't eaten since 1992, so your life could be worse.

Sporty Tailored Separates: We are well into NYFW and so all of the big names have come out of their cotton strewn labs to bring you the crème de la crème of the new season's trends. One such artiste being the oh so coveted Alexander Wang. The man is next to Celine in making the most perfectly tailored/draped/cinched/sculpted separates for women and this collection did not fail to impress. In a twist on both the classic tailoring and the laidback sportswear, the two have been combined to make a new office wear trend which will have even the most uppity bosses taking you seriously. Well as serious as one's boss can take you when you are wearing a crop-top shirt and the equivalent of culottes....in fashion that is pretty damn serious.



Sheer Delight: I have made it very VERY clear to my lovely mother that there are only two designers I want adorning my body on my wedding day  - either Vera Wang or Monique Lhuillier. Monique understands that underneath it all, most of us women just want to be a princess. We want the frothy dresses, the smattering of crystals, the layers of lace (more royal princess than gypsy wedding...) and as is a HUGE trend for SS14, the soft feel of a sheer veil covering our bodies. Take a leaf out of her book, cover everything that needs to be covered and let the rest peek through a thin translucent fabric. Sheer beauty.



Pastel Perfection: Quelle surprise I hear you cry, pastels are in for SS14. Well yes, this is perhaps not ground breaking, but it is one of the easiest trends to wear and so pretty much deserves its crown as queen of the obvious. Prabal Gurung has created a line of the most spectacular suits, cocktail dresses and separates in divine shades of lavender, mint and bubble gum pink. Get a perfectly tailored suit in one pastel colour to make the boys realise you are sweet but still the boss.



Stripes: I mean who doesn't love a pinstripe suit on a woman right?! Ok, no-one....well no-one until now. Who said you couldn't wear two different stripes in one outfit? Well certainly not Altuzarra who has created a collection of striped separates that look like they may have been created from one of your Dad's old pyjama shirts, but surprisingly are some of the most flattering pieces on the catwalk. With vertical stripes to lengthen the body and a perfectly cut shirt, tucked into a skirt which shows the sexiest slice of thigh, the only thing you need to worry about is whether or not someone will mistake you for a tube map.



Monochrome: As always one of the most anticipated collections was that of Victoria Beckham - is it really true this sugary pop-let is turning her talents to impeccable fashion designing? Well yes it is. In one of her most grown up yet, the SS14 collection sees angular shapes, sheer panels and sports-luxe additions. Very un-VickyB. Generally I thought it was magical, all but a few cocktail dresses which weren't to my taste, but as the pro-ballers always do, she has managed to nail a one of the biggest trends - monochrome. Add a touch of white to your black outfit and make sure you visually pop in the crowd. So obsessed with the fact she layered the colours on top of each other instead of building them into one garment. Who knew that Penguin from Batman would turn out to be the most fashionable villain of them all?



And with that I will leave you with style and substance - Vivienne Westwood at her best during the SS13 FW shows....saving the planet and wearing face paint.

Im in the FROW don't you know

If, like me, you are in fashion, it is a day of mixed emotions - wonder, excitement, fear, delight, worry, longing and sheer unadulterated terror. No, it is not something as light-hearted as your wedding day, the birth of your first child or even that time you picked up that pair of exact Louboutin replicas from Kurt Geiger for a quarter of the price (you can always just Dulux the sole). No, it is the beginning of....FASHION WEEK. In New York, London, Paris and Milan there are girls who haven't eaten anything but soup for the last month in hopes they can make it to the Holy Grail....to the FROW. And for those of you thinking I am mocking this, please believe I am not. I would give my right Manolo to even be allowed into the event space, this is my territory, my Mecca, my life. Over the next month I hope to give you a little insight into why.

Yesterday marked the beginning of New York Fashion Week. It runs from 5th  -  12th of September and is followed graciously by London (13th-17th Sept), Milan (18-23rd Sept) and Paris (24th Sept - 2nd October). For those of you who aren't aware, this is a time when the fashion world simultaneously stops for a moment and yet is the busiest they have ever been. The globe's best designers are currently adding the final touches to garments that until now have been but a dream on paper, but by the beginning of next year will already be lining the wardrobes of your favourite stars. If you are Victoria Beckham you may well get so excited by this whole process, you have to take a little break from the harsh lights and even harsher critics...


Anyway, with Anna Wintour's sunglasses firmly on the face which is attached to the body which is sat in the most coveted seat there is in fashion, we know it has well and truly begun. And here is what we have seen so far of SS14...

The Barely There Dress - It is cold, it is dreary, it is time to wear a slip? Seems bazaar perhaps, not if you are among the likes of Tess Giberson who paraded a host of the cutest underwear/outerwear/barely-there dresses down the runway. Team with a fur coat if you are cold or just accept it for what it is - a sexy update on your Nana's nightie.



All White - Pure as the driven snow? Well with the likes of BCBG Max Azria bringing us a collection even the White Queen would be proud of, who cares? Pair white with white in SS14 and dazzle in the spring sun.



Boxy - The slimline shapes of this summer melt into boxy coats in AW13 and angular shapes in SS14. Take a liquid leather skirt, such as at Chadwick Bell and pair with a top that will poke anyone who gets too close. Square those shoulders ladies...



Ethereal - It seems when Rankin painted Holly Willoughby in head to toe silver, he knew what was going on. Add a little unearthly spirit to your clothing by pairing silver leather with frothy chiffon like Zimmermann to create the look of a space ballerina. Strange, but it works.



Bare Your Soul - Remember when Tara Palmer-Tomkinson went out in just underwear and a fur coat and we all thought she was loopy? Turns out she was just VERY ahead of the crowd. Love the skin you are in seems to be the new trend at fashion week as everything from midriffs to cleavages were on show at Peter Som...its all well and good when you look like Cara Delevigne I suppose.



So there is just a little taste. I will be back with more trends and looks each day. Just remember, you may not like the fashions, the models or the thought process behind these events, but to people like me (and there are a lot of us) this is an art form of the highest level. And if you still aren't convinced, well I will try over the next four weeks to change your mind.

Finally with every post I will leave you with a past favourite fashion week ensemble. Today....Alexander McQueen AW13. Enjoy!

I'm sorry, did you just call me ma'am?

7 months, 9 days, 5 hours and 39 minutes....that is how long it has been since my last post. 40 minutes now... Can you believe it? I certainly can't. This time last year I had just been asked by the lovely JPFestival.com to post for them about horse racing fashion. And in just a few weeks it will be one year since I then went to said horse racing event in a pair of heels even Jordan/Katie Price may have thought were 'a bit much' and decided I would never walk again. Turns out Ladies Day is in fact a WHOLE day (not just clever marketing) and therefore you should dress appropriately...I suggest Uggs....just kidding.

Anyway, I digress, but as you can see I understand there has been a slight pause in entertainment. I would make apologies for not speaking for so long but I have no idea if anyone is still there reading this. In which case I think YOU all should apologise for giving up on me. Please kindly address all 'I'm Awfully Sorry' muffin baskets/truffle boxes/macaroon treats to me and you will be forgiven in due course.

However, you may wonder why I am writing again or in fact, why I stopped in the first place. Well for those of you who were avid readers back when, my fashion internship turned into a fashion job and I just didn't have the energy...or the eyesight...to come home every day and write. But seeing that it has been so long, I feel I owe it to the world - or the few people in Taiwan - to post and to therefore dispel the rumours that I have run off with Ryan Gosling/am Anna Wintour's muse/have been impregnated by one of The Wanted (or whichever boy band we are listening to now). Alas life has not dealt me this hand, but it has certainly dealt me a few other things.

Today my lovely house mate, Kate, and I (PS - this is new Kate, not old Kate; I don't like too much change) decided to descend upon The National Portrait Gallery in Leicester Square. This was post terrible lunch at Cote Restaurant. Yes, I would love my soup with a side of rude...thanks. Anyway, I felt in need of some inspiration as I have not been feeling myself of late, so the NPG seemed like a good idea. There is not a person on earth who can not say the NPG isn't filled with the most exquisite paintings, photos, drawings etc that you have ever seen. From the Tudors to Dame Judi Dench, there is something for everyone. But my oh my, did it make me feel insignificant. We spent a good while looking at Kate Middleton's new portrait, which I loved, but Kate didn't (house-mate Kate that is. I am pretty sure K-Middy thought it was a hoot). It was merely insight into what my life will never be - what most of our lives will never be. I will never have the talent of those artists, just as I am unlikely to ever be called upon by some such artist to paint me. I will never have a 10 year old boy or a 25 year old Italian woman point at a portrait of me and ask why it was that I looked so sad/unsure/ecstatic/pensive/radiant on that particular day. And that my dear friends, makes me feel unusual to say the least.

After the above viewing I walked past The Ritz and looked at their saliva inducing luxury jewellery. Just as I was cursing the fact that the likelihood of some poor chap buying me a ring that would make J-Lo blush (love does cost a thing darling, but it fo sho don't buy taste) was smaller than the ring that I will most likely end up with, a Big Issue seller stopped me and asked...."Would you like to buy the Big Issue ma'am?" MA'AM?????????? I AM 23 YEARS OLD. A SPRING CHICKEN. This as you can perhaps tell has put me a wee bit on edge. I quickly shook my head and scurried off, thinking it is ok Bexter, he didn't mean it, you are still young and vibrant. But then I stop and think that the likes of Cara Delevigne and Rita Ora are merely babies (well they have -2 years on me at least) and yet the whole world knows their name and as Hugh Grant says in Notting Hill "my own mother has trouble remembering mine". So what makes me a little more Bridget Jones and a little less Bridget Bardot? Is it because I like to eat pickle out of the jar? The fact that blue soup is perhaps my speciality? Or alas, that I have always had slightly too much of a crush on the older gentleman (C Firth, H Grant you are list toppers)? What makes it that some of my friends have gyms in their building and the closest I have to that is Kate's brother James staying over? Why have some of my friends got kids, some felt the delicious frothy feeling of a wedding dress on their skin and some bought houses that I would definitely take my shoes off in whilst I find it difficult to remember to shower all the time, haven't even BEEN to a wedding in years and live in an (all-be-it) lovely, but rented house. Once again as is paraphrased from Notting Hill 'as soon as they change the laws Kate and I will marry immediately', but what happens until then? Where is my skiing trip with Prince Harry? My borrowed million dollar necklace from Richard Gere? My terrible perfume line?

On Friday night a group of four friends and I went for a quiet one at Soho Hotel (GREAT bar by the way). There we started talking to a chap who said he would buy us champagne. £4,000 worth of Krug later we were living the high-life, but listening to a man who we have since found out is in the upper regions of the British rich list as he invented something you and I use every single day, complain about his life. Apparently having £250 million in the bank doesn't give you the happiness some may have thought, or even demand the respect. So what is it that we want if it isn't money? Notability? Sex? Beauty? Royalty? Well Anne Boleyn had all of that and look where it got her...just a little head's up...

So my post today is perhaps not funny (I think I will need to get back into the swing of things again) but it is truthful and is something a lot of my friends are going through too. We are in a world where it is no longer ok to be childish, but also no good to be seen as mature. The midlife crisis has firmly presented itself amongst the mid twenties group and we don't have the skills to deal with it. My advice is to stop taking everything so seriously and just enjoy it. Eat more chocolate that the human body can handle, don't care if your hair looks crazy or you feel fat (who are you trying to impress) and take every opportunity that is thrown at you, because life is so much shorter than any of us realise. Oh and PS - if I do bring out a perfume line, buy it, because I still need the money for that Ritz ring.

Becky x

Magic Mike - Like Pretty Woman but not fancy enough for a piano scene

So, look at me posting two days in a row!! How fancy. Well perhaps not so fancy when you hear what I just did. That's right girls (and possibly some guys) I just went to see Magic Mike. If you are the only hot blooded female on the planet who has not yet heard about this movie...well, are you in for a treat!! Have you ever wished Channing Tatum would just get his kit off already? Are you, like me, a die hard True Blood fan and want more than anything for Alcide and Sookie to get it on so you can see him in the buff? Or are you just curious to see if the rumour that Matthew Mcconaughey doesn't shower for months at a time is true? Whatever your twisted little fantasy, it is played out for you in all its big screen glory. And girls you will not be disappointed....at the bodies at least. The story as we all guessed it would be, is pretty mediocre. I wont ruin it for you, but a lot of stuff seems to just go unanswered, which always really annoys me. However, the main point of this is that I don't really like cheese, but would do pretty much anything to grate the stuff off of those guys abs. Holy 8 pack.

Anyway, this post is not just about my secret lustings over the large upper bodied males of this world - although at one point I did whisper to my friend that I wholeheartedly understood why some men were gay - but is instead my subtle way of pointing out how to dress like a hooker without being one. No kids, I have not started buying everything from those creepy stores in London that have most of the window covered and that you can smell the shame from when you walk past them. What I am actually suggesting is that perhaps these little non-vampire night-time lovers have lent us a thing or two...namely studs, leather and peek-a-boo panels. Read on and all shall be revealed ... literally.

Studding:

Republic have got this down... dresses, tops, shoes, bags. All studded to perfection. Pick them up for a fabulous price as well...so you don't need to work very hard to get them. Basically, you can (luckily) stick to the day job. Dress - Miso @ Republic (£15 in the sale!!), Sweater - Crafted @ Republic (£30) and Bag - Crafted @ Republic (£20).

 Leather and Latex:

Cher has never been afraid of a little leather, Stella McCartney loves the fake stuff and Katy Perry has firmly brought latex out of the bedroom, so what are you waiting for? Grab your thigh high boots, don a leather American Letterman style bomber over your LBD and head out to the work. Oh so slippery chic.

For those of you who can afford such things, Atsuko Kudo is officially my new obsession. How can latex be made to look like lace? I don't care, but I want it. Look at the blog if you don't believe me that everyone worth knowing is as obsessed as I am ... http://www.atsukokudo.com/blog/

This dress is currently at the V&A Ballgowns exhibition - if you haven't already been...why???

Peek-A-Boo, I See You:
My mother always used to laugh at me because when I was younger I used to shout "I can see her underwear" whenever I watched a ballet... Luckily I have grown up and now show my own underwear in sheer blouses and lace dresses. Dress - Zara (£29.99 in the sale!), T-Shirt - Zara (£25.99)

Animal Print:
Too much of it and you look like Cat from Eastenders. The purrfect (see what I did there!) amount and you will have Magic Mike himself pawing at your kitten heels (seriously how am I so funny).

This is the most fabulous thing I have ever seen. Yes it is Nanette Lepore. Yes it is coloured animal print. Yes it is called the Firefly dress. Yes I want it. Dress - Nanette Lepore ($348)

So happy hunting street walkers. Remember you can class anything up with Richard Gere on your arm. And if we haven't learnt that from Pretty Woman, we have learnt nothing at all.

Night!
Becky xxx

If you were a soup, what kind of soup would you be?

Hello!

It has been a long LONG time since we last spoke and for that I am truly sorry. Please just remember that I am currently working long hours trying to change the world, improve people's live and spread happiness. Yes folks, fashion PR is that demanding. But as I lie here in bed (DO NOT comment on the fact it is post 3pm) I think it is perhaps time to resume my writing. I took a 2 month hiatus because work was busy and I wasnt enjoying writing as much as I had been. Now however I am here to write for you again and embarrass myself even further. So how to win back your hearts? By throwing myself to the lions. I will now dedicate this post to... internet dating.

It seems a booming fashion career severely impacts on your chances of finding a fella ... unless you are a fella looking for a fella... So after a month or so of complaining to my lovely house-mate Kate that I was NEVER going to find a man in a city which hosts a rather large population of them, she made a suggestion. Internet dating. I laughed at her and carried on riding my high horse. But once a seed is planted my friends, all of a sudden you are living high up in a oakwood and someone has carved e-Harmony into it...

I carried this little gem of an idea around with me for a few days and asked a select group of London friends what they thought of the idea, already bracing myself to become the laughing stock for evening suggesting it. But guess what? It turns out everyone is on them. In fact I am pretty sure you can't get into some London nightclubs unless you are on one. How had I lived in London for three months without one they asked? So one night I decided to see what it was about. Creating a profile is the most cringe-worthy experience ever. These people don't know you and so everything you say makes you sound like a douschebag:

"I like going out with friends" = Heavy drinker.
"All my girlfriends have been younger than me" = Paedophile.
"Some college" = dropout.
"I like to go to the gym 7 days a week" = Delusional/Fat/Liar/Obsessed with mirror image of self.
"Musician" = Stoner.
"I like to walk everywhere" = Cant afford a car.
"My friends say I am a good laugh" = Your friends use you to buy rounds.
"I am training to be a doctor/physicist/dolphin trainer..." - Girls dig that right?

You also have to write a strapline - my post title is one I stole from a guy on the website. What does it even mean? I love it. Other good ones include... "Good sense of hummus" and "I'd be great in a zombie apocalypse" bad ones include "I'll be your Mr Gray" - dude you look like a murderer and "Are you looking for me?" - only if you have the phone number of Prince Harry.

So keep it short and sweet. Who am I kidding, my profile is an autobiography of my life. Once that is written you put down what you are looking for - Dating, relationship, long term, marriage, friendship, intimate encounter (????) Then add your profile pictures:

Photo of you in your bedroom - I have just taken this right now
Photo of you drunk - I have a drinking problem and thinks its cool to show you
No top on (boys...) and face not showing in profile - I look like the back end of a donkey but hope my cheese grater abs make you forget that
Posing - I think i'm Christina Aguilera/Tom Cruise
You with your ex - This is what I am looking for/I havent always been on a dating website
You with a child - Dude been on too many dates

And then upload!! People start messaging you, asking to meet you. All of them look like they belong in prison. You ignore 99%. You forget some men are actually good looking and message back to the ones who would look alright at the cinema with you - if it was dark... and you were looking at the screen. The messages you receive are RIDICULOUS. My favourite ever..."Hi BECKY, I like the look of your profile and thought I would start with an easy question to get us talking...so, what's your name?" Other great messages I have received:

"Is a Jaffa Cake a cake or a biscuit"
"Come here often?"
"Why wont you message me back? I'm not interested in you anyway. You think I'm ugly dont you?" (The Block button has been used often...)
"My apartment smells like leather and I eat a lot of cheese"

There are many more. Mostly they dont make sense. A lot of "Hi, how are you? Good weekend/day/evening?" Oh it was good thanks! And I am sure it was good for the 17,000 other girls you have written that message to. You will not be getting a reply.

Telling people you are on a dating website is hilarious. The reactions range from SHOCK HORROR to a hearty pat on the back. My Dad thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. My brother told me 50% of couples meet through dating websites. My mother has all but installed a barbed wire around my house to stop me from leaving and going on a date with what she has decided are Fred West re-incarnated and using a dating website...

So there you have it. Web dating in a nutshell. I dont really go on my profile anymore because the whole thing has lost its shine in less than a month ...and I have lost all faith I had in the male species. No I do not want to watch you work out, but thank you so much for asking. Anyway, try it for yourselves, it is pretty funny and a great way to meet people. Be nice to others and hope they are nice back. Dont put yourself in a dangerous position - meet in a crowded place, dont give out personal details, dont let them pick you up/drive you home. Just be smart. And also before you judge just ask your friend's what they think...because I have seen most of them on there. Gloucester, you are most certainly looking for love ;-)

Lots of love to you all!

Becky xxx