"The first thing you should know is that I am"...unemployed. For those of you who get the "Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl" reference, I am not a whore. I just really like the book...
Unemployed is perhaps the ugliest word that one can carry in her repertoire. It is worse than 'fat', 'unattractive' or even 'stupid' as it comes with connotations....ie - due to one or all of the aforementioned words, you are unable to land yourself a job. I am not fat, hopefully not unattractive and not stupid yet it seems I am unable to find myself sat in an office eating a cereal bar chatting about the weekend with a co-worker. So what am I doing wrong? It is not to say that I am not searching for a job... I like the word 'searching' it is more realistic to the situation I am in. I want to be in the fashion industry and unless you have a pair of Gucci binoculars you are unlikely to spot the one job hidden at the end of Oxford Street...and even if you do spot it, the girl with the 26 internships including one at Vogue and a year at Burberry is likely to pip you to the post.
On a daily basis I wake up excited about applying for more opportunities that cause me to imagine myself in just a few years time sat next Karl Lagerfeld at a fashion show in Paris, laughing and stuffing my face with Nutella crepes. By 10am however I am no longer sending CVs to the creme de la creme of the fashion world...because they are too busy sending me rejection e-mails to read that I happen to have an enjoyment of Les Miserable and that my answer to their entrepreneurship question is "there was that one time I made tea cosies with my Nan". Ah the rejection email. It is more painful than your first break-up, more painful than that time your best friend told you no, it wasnt the skinny jeans that made you look fat, it was because your legs had gotten chunky and MUCH more painful than the time you turned up to school in uniform on the day that happened to be "Dress Like You're in Fame" day. It causes you to: call your mother and blame her for giving birth to you; eat an entire box of Dairy Milk (both levels) and stand watching yourself wailing in front of a mirror because you need to know if you are an ugly crier on top of everything else.
Alas! There is hope at the end of the tunnel however, for you look around you and all of your friends are unemployed! You remember that we are in fact in middle of a 17 year unemployment high and you feel a little better. I am not a pessimistic person and I know I will get a job eventually; experience is the key.
So if you want to hear ramblings of how this Glossota (Gloucester - Minnesota) girl is getting on then please read my blog. I will have good days and bad days, but I will eventually be BFFFFFFF with DVF - she just doesnt know it yet. I will be top of the fashion food chain - which I believe means I want to be celery, given the industry I want to go into. Remember a moment on the lips is another 4 months in HR begging the Press office to let you be a runner on the next season fashion shoot...
See you all tomorrow - I will be the one trying to tell my mother my jumper has not gotten too tight for me, I am merely going for the Marilyn Monroe look.
Becky xx
PS - Word of the day thanks to Frank Skinner: Blinge - an alternative to vajazzle.
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